One of the most painful aspects of divorce is realizing it doesn't just happen to two people.
Divorce rips through a family. Children are devastated. Parents and siblings take sides. In-laws pretty much disappear. And then there's the rejection from everyone else.
Today is Day 3 of the Novena to St. Francis for Divorced Catholics. I invite you to bring that family pain—and the exhaustion of being misunderstood—before God with St. Francis as our companion.
The scarlet "D"
In my experience, I felt like I was wearing a huge scarlet D on my chest that everyone could see. I tried to tell my side of the story. I acted as honorably as I could. And I was still rejected.
Here's one of the hardest truths: you can't control what other people think.
It's exhausting and humiliating when all you're doing is defending yourself—constantly correcting the stories people hear or the things they believe about you. Peace is nearly impossible in that scenario.
St. Francis and his own family
St. Francis renounced his wealth to follow Jesus. That created a profound conflict with his family—especially his father. He couldn't force them to understand God's calling in his life. But he didn't respond with anger or resentment.
His example for handling rejection is simple and hard: pray for your family and those who have hurt you—and let God handle the rest.
Peace begins when we give God control
Peace never happens when we're just trying to persuade people to agree with our version of events. Peace only happens when we let go of our need to be understood. Peace begins when we give God control of the situation.
I'm the first to admit this is a difficult step. So in today's novena prayer, ask God for the grace to be willing to give Him control—so you can find peace.
Novena prayer to St. Francis
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
St. Francis, I come to you with a heavy heart seeking guidance and consolation. Divorce has torn my family apart and I cannot reverse the incredible pain that has been inflicted on those I love. I look to you, St. Francis, who suffered the rejection and disapproval of your own family as you followed the way of Christ. And I beg you to pray for me to God that He will take this terrible situation and bring good out of it. Most of all, I ask for peace in my heart and for this special intention. I pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen.
Our Father…
Hail Mary…
Glory Be…
St. Francis, patron of peace and families, pray for us.
Come back tomorrow
Thank you for praying. Join me again tomorrow for Day 4 of the Novena to St. Francis for Divorced Catholics.
Taking the next step
If you're looking for more support as a divorced or separated Catholic, explore the Journey of Hope online subscriptions. The program offers Catholic teaching, encouragement, and practical support from the privacy of your own home.
Watch the video: Novena to St. Francis for Divorced Catholics — Day 3