For the first few months after my ex-spouse left, it took everything I had each morning to get out of bed, pull myself together, and get out the door to work. I was completely consumed with the pain and sorrow of my divorce.
Even a few years later—after I'd moved to a completely different state and was working hard to rebuild—I found myself stuck in the same pattern: alone, mourning the loss of my marriage.
Divorce can make your world incredibly small. You wake up thinking about it. You go to sleep thinking about it. At some point you realize you need something in your life that has absolutely nothing to do with your divorce.
Today is Day 4 of the Novena to St. Francis for Divorced Catholics.
St. Francis turned outward
St. Francis's example is turning outward. He redirected his pain and sorrow toward the mission God gave him. He went out and took care of the sick, fed the hungry, and preached the Gospel. He cared for lepers. He helped people who could give him nothing in return.
This isn't "get over it"
Serving others doesn't mean you're avoiding your own grief—or that anyone is telling you to just get over it. But at some point, you begin to participate in life again. And that brings peace.
What to do this week
Try something concrete:
- Bring someone a meal
- Check in on someone who's been sick
- Call someone who is lonely and doesn't get many visitors
- Or even better—if you know someone who's divorced and not as far along as you are, go be with them. Be a friend to them.
When you serve others, their problems become more important than your own—for that stretch of time you're not focused on all the negativity you're carrying. You're focused on helping someone else. And that certainly brings a lot of peace.
Novena prayer to St. Francis
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
St. Francis, I ask for your prayers to God today on my behalf. I'm so focused on all the worries and negativity of my divorce situation and I need to refocus myself on goodness and love. You selflessly served others by visiting the sick, cleaning churches, and preaching the Gospel to anyone who would listen. Heartened by your example, please ask God to give me the grace to look beyond my sadness to others who also might be hurting or in need, that I may imitate your example of love and service. Most of all, I ask for peace in my heart and for this special intention. I pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen.
Our Father…
Hail Mary…
Glory Be…
St. Francis, patron of peace and families, pray for us.
Come back tomorrow
Thank you for praying. I look forward to praying with you tomorrow for Day 5 of the Novena to St. Francis for Divorced Catholics.
Taking the next step
If you're looking for more support as a divorced or separated Catholic, explore the Journey of Hope online subscriptions. The program offers Catholic teaching, encouragement, and practical support from the privacy of your own home.
Watch the video: Novena to St. Francis for Divorced Catholics — Day 4