When I was going through my divorce and getting ready to leave my home, I knocked on my neighbor's door to explain what was happening. As soon as she opened the door, I burst into tears. I was so totally unprepared for the emotional ordeal.
The stinger was... my neighbor already knew everything. She was friends with the woman my ex-spouse had started a relationship with. I didn't know that then. It only came out later.
So what do you do with that kind of pain?
This is precisely where St. Francis's example so inspiring. Today is Day 2 of the Novena to St. Francis for Divorced Catholics. Before we pray, we reflect on his way of handling conflict.
Young Francis went to war—and to prison
Young Francis dreamed of being a knight. He wanted worldly success. He went off to war, was captured, and imprisoned. After that time, he opened his heart to God's grace and was converted.
His example invites a hard question: What if having peace has nothing to do with winning the battle?
Divorce feels like warfare
It's true. Divorce feels like warfare—legal battles, financial battles, custody hearings. Even when all of that is over, we're often still at war in our hearts.
Our hearts become little prisons. We trap the people who hurt us inside. We scream at them. We replay scenarios. Resentment fills the space where peace should live.
Peace demands change—but whose?
We all want peace. But peace demands change. Sometimes we make the mistake of waiting for others to change—or for our circumstances to change.
What happens when your ex never apologizes? When the hurtful behavior just continues and everything stays so painful?
What if God is asking you to release your prisoners? Maybe that's the change He's asking of you.
Stay rooted in Christ
Peace isn't about the absence of conflict. Peace is learning how to stay rooted in Christ when conflict comes.
We can't necessarily change our circumstances. We definitely can't change other people. But with God's grace, we can change the way we respond—to those circumstances and to those people. That's exactly what St. Francis did.
As we pray today, ask God for the grace to change your heart and to release your prisoners—so you can experience peace.
Novena prayer to St. Francis
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
St. Francis, I thank you for the gift of your example to all those who follow Christ. Your early struggles and later sincere conversion of heart is a great witness for me as I wrestle with my own struggles. The circumstances surrounding my divorce make me feel imprisoned by anger, resentment, and worry over things I cannot control. I beg you to obtain for me the grace to be strong and for the grace to forgive those who have hurt me. Most of all, I ask for peace in my heart and for this special intention. I pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen.
Our Father…
Hail Mary…
Glory Be…
St. Francis, patron of peace and families, pray for us.
Come back tomorrow
Thank you for praying. Lisa looks forward to seeing you tomorrow for Day 3 of the Novena to St. Francis for Divorced Catholics.
Taking the next step
If you're looking for more support as a divorced or separated Catholic, explore the Journey of Hope online subscriptions. The program offers Catholic teaching, encouragement, and practical support from the privacy of your own home.
Watch the video: Novena to St. Francis for Divorced Catholics — Day 2